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My style is unique don’t copy it plz!
if your dog barks and enemies laugh take it serious.
I’m not failed, Because my success is lost.!
Man ask a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that girl… , which machine can I use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”!
If money grew on trees, then girls would be dating monkeys..!
I may be fat, but u’re ugly – I can lose weight!
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up…
When I was Born DEVIL said ohh shitt, competition
Life is too short smile while u still have teeth.
Behind every successful man, there is a surprised woman…
80% of boys have girlfriends.. Rest 20% boys are having brain.
If nobody hates U, then you are doing something boring.
Never laugh at your wife’s choices… you are one of them.
Totally available!! Please disturb me!!!!
Fact: Phone on silent mode- 10 Missed call. Turns volume to loud- Nobody calls all day!
Attitude is like a underwear Don’t show it just wore it
Always respects your self!
Wife: I have changed my mind. Husband: Does the new one now work?
God is really creative, I mean.. just look at me !
I want someone to give me a Loan & then leave me Alone.
All the Rules are made.. to be break.
I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them.
People that Change Love status after 30 Sec… GF is the Reason…
A fine is a tax for doing wrong & A tax is a fine for doing well…!
All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.
Try to say the letter M without ur lips touching….!!
when nothing seems right then go left…
You can never buy Love… But still you have to pay for it…
Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software… it’s called Monday, please fix it.
Always wear cute pajamas to bed you’ll never know who you will meet in your dreams.
When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be ‘I left one million dollars in the.....
My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.
I’m jealous of my parents… I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs!
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
Here my dad comes on whatsapp.. From now on my status would be ‘***no status***’ or just a smiley…
At last got to know how to loose weight in 10 days: Just turn your head right then left and repeat whenever offered any food.
Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing pen drive safely.
I’am looking for a bank loan which can perform two things. Give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
Coins always make sound but the currency notes are always silent! that’s why I’m always calm and silent..
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.
We live in a society were pizza gets to your house before police
One wise guy invented mobile application Whatsapp and his wife added last seen feature…
They say we learn from our mistakes. So, I’m making as many as possible! Soon I will be a genius
People say you cant live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.
Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.
After marriage, the other man’s wife looks more beautiful.
Why is it so easy to fall asleep in class then in bed.
I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
Definition of human being: a creature that cuts trees, makes paper & write “SAVE TREES” on the same paper.
Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their Age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.
I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.' That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, 'Your password is incorrect.'
My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry.
When nothing is going right, go left.
Fact: Phone on silent mode- 10 Missed call… Turns volume to loud- Nobody calls all day!!
I will marry the girl, who look pretty in her Adhaar card.
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.
I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.'
Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number.
My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one.
I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them 🙂
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